Elogiul painii in preajma de copil
by adrian on Nov.10, 2009, under Fapt divers
Era odata o paine mica, mica, mica. Ea lucra la zoo si avea o familie numeroasa. Copiii erau cam chifle dar educate si punctuale. Sotul painii era un corn imens, arogant si harnic. Muncea mult, intr-o fabrica de cutite si era considerat cel mai curajos corn ever. Fucking ever.
Intr-o zi painea e violata de o bagheta transexuala drogata de la prea mult mac. Fuck! Familia a fost zdruncinata si painea zdrelita la maxim, aproape irecuperabil. La fatza locului zeci de firmituri faceau scena de nesuportat. Chiflele plangeau dar mama lor inca grijluie ii sfatuia in ultimele ei clipe sa nu mai planga c-or sa se ude si o sa ramana patate si cu celulita.
Cand in sfarsit a ajus si sotul corn langa paine, scena era apocaliptica. Socul l-a intarit brusc si i-a crestat crapaturi de i se vedea rahatul adanc in sine.
Atunci apa din paine s-a evaporat usor si o uscaciune nepoliticoasa a invadat-o faramitand-o si mai tare… painea, mama si sotie a murit in sanul celor dragi, plini de dorinta de a se razbuna.
Asa ca toata familia ramasa a cautat prijelul pentru a lua cu asalt lumea cea rea si nemiloasa a oamenilor care fac mutanti din acelasi aluat din care iese si painea noastra cea de toate zilele. Creatorul baghetei Frankenstein trebuia ucis. Sau macar familia lui trebuia sa sufere cumplit.
Cu tatal corn in frunte chiflele si painitele au plecat la lupta. L-au gasit pe brutarul tata al baghetei ucigase. Era imens, greu de doborat si tinea si cura de fainoase. Dar in umbra lui pandea un copilas de 5 ani bucuros de orice e proaspat si dulce.
Familia cornului s-a stropit cu ciocolata, cornul si-a adunat rahatul la vedere si au calcat apasat in calea copilasului. Cu ochii mari si cu bale pe buze cel mic s-a repezit in bunatati si a inceput sa sfasie fara sa stie o intreaga familie dornica de razbunare si jelind o mama unica intre paini.
Copilasul inghitea bucuria ochilor tatalui corn rand pe rand si intindea ciocolata peste tot. Tatal urma sa incheie genocidul. Copilasul il apuca, musca din el si bali si mai tare la gustul bun al celui mai curajos dintre cornuri. O clipa mai tarziu cornul vaduv i se opri in gat, copilul se ineca, se invinteti si cazu horcaind in cimitirul de firmituri din jurul lui… jalea era in afara si in el… moartea era peste tot.
Ziua aceea a ramas o amintire neagra in lumea fainoaselor. Dar copiii inca sunt panditi la orice colt. Adultii ii indoapa cu chipsuri pentru a le taia pofta de fainoase si de a-i feri de pericolul vreunei alte cornucideri.
[Sambata asta, adica pe 14, ne vedem de la ora 20:00 in Club Prometheus (rezervari la tel 0723.879.665) si de la ora 22:00 in Glendale Art Cafe (rezervari la tel 0723.879.665)]
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